There is a difference between waiting for wisdom and delaying because we don’t want to deal with the cost of choosing.
Sometimes waiting is the right move because more information is coming, and the timing is not right. Occasionally, the issue may simply need another conversation or another week to develop. But sometimes waiting is just “avoidance” dressed up in better language:
- We tell ourselves, “We are thinking it through.”
- We say, “We are keeping our options open.”
- We convince ourselves, “We are not ready yet.”
Sometimes that is true, but sometimes we already know enough to act. We just don’t like the responsibility that comes with making a choice.
The Problem with Delay
Delay feels neutral. We feel like we are not making the wrong choice, that we are protecting ourselves from regret, and that we are buying time. But time does not stop just because we refuse to choose. The employee issue continues to affect the team. The financial issue continues to worsen. The difficult conversation keeps getting heavier. The missed expectation keeps causing frustration. The opportunity keeps moving toward someone else. Not deciding does not freeze the situation. It only removes our hand from the outcome.
That is why decision-making is a discipline. It is not just about having strong instincts. It is about learning to name the issue, face the trade-off, choose a responsible next step, and own the consequences.
Personal Story
In business, one of the hardest lessons I learned was that waiting can look responsible while still making the problem worse. There were times when issues involving people, processes, or performance lingered longer than they should have. It was not because nobody cared or because we lacked intelligence. More often than not, it was because the decision itself carried a cost. If we addressed the issue, there would be consequences to manage. Changing the process meant more work. Enforcing the standard meant removing the excuses. And making the call too soon meant owning the result, even if we were wrong.
So, the temptation was to wait : wait for more proof, wait for the right moment, wait for things to settle down, and wait until the decision became obvious. But here is what I learned: by the time a decision becomes obvious, the cost has usually gone up. The team already knows. The pattern has already formed. The standard has already weakened. And the person affected by the decision is usually the last to be surprised.
That was a hard lesson for me because I have always valued being fair. I don’t believe in making permanent decisions based on one bad day, one bad job, or one incomplete piece of information. That part matters. But fairness cannot become an excuse for delay. At some point, leadership requires a decision. Not a perfect one. Not a painless one. A responsible one.
What the Research Says
Decision avoidance is not always obvious. It does not always look like neglect or laziness. Sometimes it looks like patience, caution, or “needing more time.” A 2020 study looked at two forms of decision avoidance: decision deferral, which means putting the choice off until later, and option refusal, which means rejecting the options in front of you. The point is simple: people do not always avoid decisions by saying no. Sometimes they avoid them by refusing to choose at all.
That matters because delay can feel like a responsibility from the inside. Most of us do not think we are avoiding a decision. We think we are being careful, giving the issue more time, or that another option might appear. Sometimes that is true. But if the same decision keeps coming back and no useful new information arrives, it may no longer be patience. It may be avoidance.
The discipline is learning to tell the difference. Waiting is wise when it gives you better information. Waiting becomes avoidance when it only delays ownership.
A Simple Test
A good question to ask is this: Am I waiting because better information is actually coming, or am I waiting because I do not want to own the cost of choosing? If better information is coming, wait wisely. Define what you need to know. Set a time to revisit the decision. Do not rush something that still requires clarity. But if nothing new is coming, more time will not fix the problem. It will only make the choice feel heavier. The situation keeps moving, even when we do not. The cost usually shows up as lost time, weakened trust, stalled momentum, drained energy, or fewer options. That is why delayed decisions rarely stay clean. The longer something sits unresolved, the more complicated it becomes.
This week, pick one decision that has been sitting too long. Write it down in one sentence. Then ask yourself what information you are still waiting for. If that information is real and likely to arrive, set a deadline for the decision and come back to it with discipline. If the information isn't coming, stop calling it “patience”. Name the next responsible step and decide when you will take it. This does not mean being reckless. It means refusing to let uncertainty become a place to hide. Some decisions need more time. Others need ownership. The discipline is learning the difference.
Final Thought
A delayed decision may feel safe for a while, but it does not keep life neutral. The situation keeps evolving. The cost keeps rising. The options keep narrowing. Eventually, the decision may still have to be made, only now with less time, less trust, and less room to maneuver. Better decisions do not come from waiting for all the risks to disappear. They come from learning to act with enough information, clear ownership, and the willingness to correct course when needed. The decision does not have to be perfect. It needs to be owned.
Remember: keep showing up, keep practicing, and always stay the course!
Sources
Berens, S., & Funke, J. (2020). A vignette study of option refusal and decision deferral as two forms of decision avoidance: Situational and personal predictors. PLOS ONE, 15(10), e0241182. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0241182
